Collecting puzzles

'Arden, today is Eddie's last day, will you miss him?' I asked.

'A little bit.' Arden replied.

'What about me? Will you miss me too? A little bit?'

'Nope,’ he paused, 'Very much.'



Today marks the last day of my internship, last day of my diploma life.


I remember when I first decided to study Early Childhood Education, my friends were very surprised. People who knew me, they know that I have low tolerance towards children (I still do)


I remember I asked God again, ‘Are you sure this is for me? You sure?’

He reminded me of how he called Abram out of his country, his father’s household. God asked Abram to leave his comfort zone, the place he grew up in to a place God will show him.



In these two years, I doubted myself a lot, especially in my decision. I sometimes can’t sleep, I worry a lot about my financial needs, but never once I was unable to pay rent, buy food or even travel in kl. It was merely God’s grace and of course, my family support.


God in His Faithfulness He has been so true and so real.
He revealed bit by bit of how he designed me to be in the education sector.

I slowly learned that I enjoy giving parents advice and support; I gradually understand that my heart ache for children who did not receive enough affirmation from home. I gradually understand that this can work.


I finally understood that if God puts you in a place, the outcomes are unnecessarily aligned to our human expectations.

Tracing back to when God actually chose somebody who is as impatient, impulsive, like me to nurture a child’s growth, build characters. This is really not something from me.


The reason why I took time to write this is to tell anybody who is out there, still very confused and afraid etc about the future, that God is watching over you. He designs you differently and will use you differently. Yes, you will have doubts, and I still do, but this God has a designated plan for all of us.



Along the way we are collecting pieces of puzzles, one day, God will patch up all these puzzles we have collected into the glorious picture he has in his mind. Only then we can actually see what He has been doing all the while. We cant see now because we are mere short-sighted humans, we aren’t Him.

 

RAWR!! means i love you in Dinosaur =]

i remember the awkward moment that we really got into the first ''real' conversation.
funny.awkward.hilarious but cute =]
it was years ago in year 2007,
i tried talking to you,since you are so antisocial (as always XD)

''hey!!'' =D

''hello..'' ..

''hmm.. heard that you're going somewhere else! Where are you going then?'' =]

''....going.. out with my friends....''

''OWH!! you always go out your gang of friends?! WELL, that should be fun!!! X) ''

''..yeah...''

'......''

''.............................................''

''....owh, (i finally figured out what to say AFTER stunning there for 3 minutes)....
since, we're of the same age,when is your birthday?! '' =D

''....4th of August..."

''....owh, 4th of August....... eh,WAIT! isn't it today?!!! (i finally figure out that day itself it's her birthday..lol... dramatically awkward =.=)

''... erm... yea...''

''owh, Happy birthday yar!!''

''thank you(smiled at me awkwardly)''

we stopped talking to each other,sustaining the awkward scene

-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

we are both limited edition type of people.
i'm emotional,you're rational.

i do things according to my instant emotion while you are the down to earth type =]

i'm impatient,you're patient.
why? bcos i would even find sitting on a toilet bowl wasting my precious time but you seem to enjoy spending your every second of quality time in the toilet! XD

i'm extremely talkative and hyperactive while you are always a 黄脸婆 when come to my studies.
you would not stop nagging,scolding,forcing me to sit down quietly to study.

now, you're miles away,trapped in a jungle studying.
i miss your nags,lectures ( not all the time lar, just some time)
i miss your silly blur face.
i miss your biscuits shaped face and those chocolate chips (pimples) that garnished your biscuit face.

it's your 18th bday...
happy birthday!!! *RAWR*

Departures

 There's so many unexpected events in life...

Departures....which is so heart trenching,heart aching and unbearable
There's only a few types of separation I define.
eternal and short termed 
Death,which tear us apart forever.
Dreams that are meant to be pursued that sacrificed our relationships,friendships nor kinship.

Farewells.
when you see your closest ones or your best friends leaving you.
and you staying back there alone,fighting alone.

Abandonment.
when you feel cherished but it wont last.
when you feel glad finally you have someone but ending up being strangers
when you miss that person so much but he is not there.

Departures.
when you seek for comfort from your family but their voice are no longer to be heard.
when the tower you rely on suddenly disappear.

when you feel blissful that you have found a new friend but the next thing you know that she's leaving.
when you found the joy of having some friend there for you but she's now miles away.

however, i believe ...
separations is a kind of blissful hatred.

it's bitter,but sweet.
Separations make people cherish each other more,understand more and to love more

losing someone,make you wanna live high and to lead a better life, hoping that they would rest in peace,leaving the world without worries.
when you miss them,you still believe that you would meet them one day
,smiling beautifully,approaching you in Heavens when the time has come.

i once heard a friend of mine saying,separations and departures exist in order to make reunion happen one day.

Departures,is a kind of blissful hatred.

Dearly Beloved

She popped out her head,wanting to take a glimpse of me.
From afar, i whispered to myself,"i'm gonna make her proud.''
She smiled at me, proudly.

As if she wanna shout and proclaim,:'tat's my daughter up there!'
Her smile,her expressions braved me up.
She's my mom.Besides God,she's the one who has been there for me since i was a zygote.
It might sound funny,but,somehow.... it's a funny but beautiful fact.

My mother,the one made me for who i am today.
My mom,the one who is there to share my ups and downs with.
My mummy,the one who made yummy food for me.
My best friend ,whom listened every little secrets of mine understandingly.
My teacher,who taught me philosophies of life that are never found in books.

Here i am, standing before the church.
Even though i'm not a first timer being a praise and worship leader but somehow i'm nervous.
Thank God she's there,supporting me in her very own way.
A smile that made me brave and to stand firmly before the crowd.

I pledged to be a mother like her.
A loving,passionate,strict but in a humor adorable way =]

I love you mum <3